Obligatory

Because You Never Know

This is Reading Photographs, a newsletter for those interested in remarkably mundane photographs and why the details, ideas, emotions, memories, connections and beliefs they arouse make them meaningful.

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Kids and elephants have one thing in common.

They never forget.

“When are we going to the pumpkin patch?” my youngest asked for the umpteenth time in several days.

“Yeah, it’s almost Halloween,” my oldest piled on.

“Maybe this weekend,” I replied, knowing it was unavoidable.

When they were much younger—babies and/or toddlers—I didn’t mind as much about this annual fall activity. Part of it was they were able immobile (stroller) or easier to make immobile (again, stroller, but with the restraint fastened). And if they suddenly became cranky, well, it was simple enough to cut the day trip short and grab Starbucks on the way home.

Now, the kids have Opinions. On which pumpkins to get. How many pumpkins to get. Who get’s to cut them from their vine (dadda). Who’s strong enough to carry the pumpkins to the wagon. Who gets to pull the wagon. Who gets to ride in the wagon (no one). All while bickering with each other or not listening to me or their mother. None of this is unique or special and in fact highlights my privilege but that doesn’t make it any less wearying.

And I have to take pictures.

OK, I don’t have to take pictures. I feel obligated to take pictures. These are supposed to be those moments you’ll miss when they’re older and moved out and having kids of their own that you can overstimulate them when they visit then send them on home because that’s the best revenge a parent can hope for. But after a decade of taking pictures in a field surrounded by overpriced orange gourds, I’m kinda over it.

Feeling obligated to take pictures is the worst mindset I can be in when it comes to photography. It’s not the same as getting paid for shooting a wedding or a portrait session for a friend’s family or even if it’s part of a non-photography day job. Rather, it’s when there is Something Happening but it is not novel nor exciting yet I feel like I should document it. 

As a parent, these happen often. School music programs, field days, assorted parades, birthday parties, and so on. I love seeing my kids having a great time and showing off their abilities and talents. And it’s amazing to watch them change over the years. But I’d much rather show them doing new and exciting things that they are only able to do now because they are older than to take photos of the same ol’ activities year in and year out.

But here’s the thing: I know from experience that inevitably, if I decide against bringing a camera for a day out with the kids, that I’ll see a shot that I’ll kick myself over for not having a camera handy. There will be some lovely light filtering through leaves or some part of the landscape providing a perfect frame or a beautiful moment when they are playing or doing something together with tenderness and wonder while not arguing over something inane.

So, I trudge my camera around. Even when I don’t expect I’ll need it. Even when I don’t really want to have it with me. Because I may have forgotten how every day can be magical. But my kids haven’t.